Day after day she sat by the window peering out into the backyard. It was so sad to watch. She had probably the most cheerful room in the home. Situated on the first floor, it had two windows that looked out on the backyard. Sun spilled through the shear curtains in the morning hours. Pearl just sat in a chair by the window day after day. She rarely interacted with the other residents or staff, coming to meals in the dining room to pick up her medication near the nurses’ office but keeping to herself. She suffered from major depression, but whether that was a life-long struggle for her or something that occurred following the death of her husband, I never learned.
I would often pause at her open bedroom door and greet her in the beginning of our acquaintance. I would get barely a nod in response. Determined to find something that might interest her beyond her room, I started inviting her to come to sing-a-long or our discussion group with the promise that she didn’t have to participate but could just listen. Finally one day she agreed to come to sing-a-long so when the time came, I went to her room to get her so there could be no excuse that she had forgotten. Gradually she began to attend other activities and would even sometimes participate.
About twice a month I would take the residents of Oakton Manor on an outing. The home was the recipient of free tickets to sporting events, concerts and plays as well as free days for seniors at the various museums, botanical gardens, etc. in the Milwaukee area. I began to ask Pearl to come along when I thought the outing was something she would enjoy. I discovered that if I coaxed her a little, I could get her to come, but she would never sign-up on the outing sheet posted on the bulletin board in the lobby of the home.
Returning from an outing one day I realized that Pearl had not joined us. As I walked past her room, there she was gazing out her window. “Pearl, I missed you on the outing today. We had a really good time and I think you would have enjoyed it,” I told her.
She looked up at me with sorrowful eyes. “You didn’t come and beg me to go,” she accused.
And I hadn’t. I finally realized how meaningful my begging was to her; it had assured her that she was truly wanted. It was such a simple thing to for me to make sure she was signed up to go with us. But for Pearl it meant that I valued her; she was a person of worth.
Throughout his ministry Jesus demonstrated the value of people, giving them a sense of dignity and worth. In a day when lepers were banished from society, he reached out and touched a leper and healed him. When he met the Samaritan woman at the well, Jesus ask her for a drink of water, something a Jew in that culture would never do. Then he proceeded to share with her about the living water he could offer her. He wasn’t afraid to invite himself home with Zacchaeus for a meal, though most people hated tax collectors!
These examples force me to ask myself who the people are in my sphere of influence who need to know they are valued and of worth. And how do I convey that to them? It may be something as simple as the few words Pearl needed to hear…”Please Pearl, come and join us. I know you will have a good time!”
Photo by: Borya